Tag: learning is hard

We Are The Lucky Ones

On By Britani MartinIn The JourneyLeave a comment

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One day, when my children are older and can look back on their journey at The Morris Center, they will both believe this truth: WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES……

It’s true. They are the lucky ones, the lucky few. We’ve found a solution to their learning struggles and they’ve received the treatment necessary to rectify these weaknesses. Academically, the years ahead of them will now look different.  Instead of starting behind their peers, they can confidently line up beside them, capable of learning the same. They are the lucky ones.

But what about the other kids with learning disabilities?  The not-so-lucky ones?  You see, some of these others aren’t just unknown faces to me.  I know them.  I know their families. They are within my own extended family.   We’ve shared the same concerns and fears,  while encouraging and supporting each other along the way.  They’ve followed our journey here at The Morris Center and they’ve sincerely celebrated our progress.  Knowing they are cheering us on back home should make me feel good.  But in all honesty, it’s been a mixed bag.  With every encouraging comment, I feel a pang of sadness for them.  Not pity.  More like a touch of survivor’s guilt.  Why are my kids getting what they need, while their kids are facing another year of struggle and frustration?  I empathize with these parents who are ready to throw their hands in the air.  They are tired of seeing their kids struggle to keep up.  I would have to think it’s a double-edged sword for them to be happy for my kids while at the same time, wishing their own kids were having similar outcomes.  I’ve thought about each of those kids so much, wishing they could be here to receive this intervention.  They deserve it just as much as my kids do.  All kids do.

If the statistic is correct (1 in 5 with dyslexia), there’s a staggering number of kids out there struggling unnecessarily.  Take our school for example…. our district serves over 3,500 kids.  If dyslexia affects one in five people, that means 700 kids could have dyslexia.  700!  In one school district.  700 who will always have to work harder than  their peers and still might not close the gap of learning. It doesn’t have to be this way!!!  There’s a solution and it’s within reach.  My prayer as we return home is to see The Morris Center grow in recognition as a REAL solution for so many that struggle to read.  There are now 6 children within our district who have been to TMC, with more attending in the months ahead.  If these kids are all reaching higher potential than ever before, doesn’t TMC deserve a closer look?  I believe it does and feel a responsibility to other families to share our journey and to offer hope for those who feel hopeless.  To read more about why I believe The Morris Center program should be integrated into the education system, read my blog post Every Child Deserves It.

Cannon and Avery are now a few of the Lucky Ones.  But learning to read and reach your full learning potential shouldn’t be just for the “lucky ones.”  It should be for ALL.

Did I Really Just Do That???

On By Britani MartinIn The Journey3 Comments

It's Kind of Fun to Do The Impossible

One of the best things about parenting is getting to see our children’s “firsts.” The first smile, the first steps, the first time riding a bike.  We watch in wonder as we see our kids hit these milestones and we celebrate each success.  And if you’re like me, you may even get a little teary-eyed.  Our kids look to us to see our reactions and we share in their excitement.  These firsts open up new worlds to explore.

I’ve witnessed so many of these moments with my own kids, but I would have to say my most recent “first experience” will be at the top of my list of favorites!  You see, a lot of firsts are developmental….things we know will happen or expect to happen.  They follow somewhat of an order and are so sweet to see, but there’s some that are even sweeter.  It’s the ones that are harder to come by.  When your kids conquer things that were a struggle before, you feel a higher level of pride.  This week my daughter had one of those “firsts.”  She READ part of a book that she couldn’t read 4 months ago.  But, hold on. Let me give you the back story.

Avery has the SWEETEST group of friends.  They are fun, kind and loyal.  They are each unique and have strengths and weaknesses that encourage one another to step out of comfort zones and try new things.  I love them all dearly and love that Avery can explore new interests with them.  Thanks to her friends, Avery recently became a Harry Potter fan.  This was surprising to me because her brothers took zero interest in HP.  After school one day, Avery asked to watch the first Harry Potter movie.  Sure!  We watched it, she loved it and immediately asked to watch the next one.  A few days later she watched the second one without me.  When it was over, we had this conversation:

Avery:  That was so good and now I’m all caught up.  Now I can talk to my friends about it and know what they are talking about. 

Me: Oh, have they been watching the movies too?

Avery: No mom!  They have read the books and I know I’ll NEVER be able to read those books so I wanted to watch the movies.

Me: (insert teary eyes and a big bear hug for my little girl)

Fast-forward to present-day……  Her goal since arriving at The Morris Center was inspired by our friend, Emma, who was finishing up at TMC when we arrived.  Avery wanted to able to spell “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” from the movie, “Mary Poppins,” just like Emma. Okay, cute.  That will be great. But I, her mama, want her to also be able to READ the entire book.  Well guess what?  During Week 7, Avery SPELLED “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”   I was impressed!  That was fast.  This small accomplishment led my girl to have even bigger ideas for future firsts.  Avery soon asked me, “do you think I’ll be able to read Harry Potter when I leave here?”  Umm…that book, with all the names and strange places,  is a tough one for me to navigate reading, not to mention being able to comprehend the storyline.   Not wanting to give her false expectations, but at the same time wanting to be encouraging, I said, “I’m sure you’ll be able to read anything you want to read eventually.”  As quickly as it was considered, I pushed it aside and prayed for more attainable goals to be met.

Shame on me for doubting my girl and her abilities.  She put me in my place.  This past week, TMC had a film crew at the clinic, shooting promotional material to share this amazing place with others, searching for an answer.  For one shot, they requested a book for Avery. Dr. Tim Conway, with a knowing look,  gave her a Harry Potter book.  I was behind the scenes watching and when I read the title, I flinched a little and asked in a whisper, “Avery can you even read that book?”  She didn’t answer and the crew reassured me, explaining that they weren’t concerned with audio for this particular shot.  But as the camera started rolling, I witnessed a “FIRST” for my girl.  Without hesitation, she began reading from the third chapter of a Harry Potter book.  I couldn’t hold back the tears that flooded my eyes as I watched in awe….my smart child doing something she thought (and me too) was impossible only four short months ago.  She did it. When the film crew finished, she looked up from the book with a huge smile on her face, walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist.  As I knelt down to kiss her head, she reached up and wiped away my tears.  As we left the clinic, she turned to me and said, “Did that really just happen?  Did I really just read that book?  I can’t believe it.”

Believe it, baby girl!  This is just a first of many.

 

Every Child Deserves It

On By Britani MartinIn The Journey1 Comment

If a child can't learnI’ve made it clear in past posts just how amazed I’ve been by the differences we’ve seen with my children & the children of friends thanks to The Morris Center. The NOW! (Neurodevelopment of Words) programs have changed their lives, and I am so grateful we made the sacrifice and took the leap to come here.  I know my kids’ futures are brighter and that they will leave here believing they are capable of so much more than they ever dreamed.  This place truly is a hidden gem that is changing lives for so many.  But, not enough lives.

My heart aches for the kids that aren’t receiving the level of intervention that we’ve had. I know quite a few families just at my school district that desperately wish they could follow in our footsteps and move to Ocala, Florida. People that want exactly what I want for my kids. They want their children to have the very best chance of finding success in learning.  They don’t like seeing their kids struggle and want to make learning easier for them.  They want to see their children grow in learning and gain confidence in their own abilities.  But as much as they want the very best for their kids, they simply cannot move to Florida.  They aren’t in the position to relocate temporarily.  Realistically, who is????  It’s absurd to hit pause on life at home and move to another state for a few months.  Who can do that?  We are one of the lucky few families (some probably would label us as ”extremists”) that have been able to do this, but I won’t say it was easy, financially or otherwise.  While I am happy my kids have been given this opportunity, I’m equally sad that so many others don’t have the same opportunity.  It’s not fair to them.  And, as a person that has witnessed first-hand how much this program is helping, it breaks my heart to know this program isn’t even an option for so many.

Why is that?  Why can’t other kids receive this level of intervention locally? Why did my kids have to uproot their lives, leave their dad & brother behind, miss their summer break and move half-way across the country to receive what all children deserve? It’s not right and it’s not fair.

So what’s the deal?  If this is “so life-changing,” why hasn’t every school in America jumped on the opportunity to provide this for their students?  I mean, this isn’t a new program.  This is not just a program that uses strategies related to the science of learning.  This is a program with CLINICAL RESEARCH. It’s has 25 years of evidence-based research to back it up! Seriously, you can see it all for yourselves. So why is it not stream-lined in our education system?

I have some thoughts….

Now, full disclosure….  I am in no way an expert in the field of education or learning. I have no intent to “bash” any other program or its’ methods.  I am just a mom wanting the best for my kids.   A mom who found a program that I believe in, with scientific data to back their claims of success.  I haven’t found that in any of the other programs I have researched.  And as I advocate for my own kids, I can’t help but want the same for others.

  1.  The Morris Center NOW! Program is hard to wrap your head around.  More specifically, the program is so involved on so many levels.  The intertwining of the  trans-disciplinary approach seems impossible to put into words without seeing it first-hand.  For this reason, I think it’s intimidating to the “decision-makers of education” to fully take on understanding the program completely.  You know, “it sounds too good to be true…”
  2. This program would be impossible to replicate in a school setting.  There is no way to offer what we are receiving here to an entire school.  For that reason, it would be easy to write off as “impossible.”  But hold on…..stay with me…..

Going back to my own kids.  Cannon is entering 7th grade and Avery, 4th grade.  They’ve been diagnosed with dyslexia for 3 years, but they’ve been dyslexic since birth.  They’ve both faced struggles with learning since the very beginning.  We first noticed something was wrong with Cannon in 1st grade.  He’s been receiving intervention since the Fall of 2nd grade.  Each of these programs cost the school money and the after-school tutoring cost us money. Now he struggles with anxiety, which required medication.  I’m hoping that life will look different for him when we get back home.  He won’t need the interventions and the anxiety will diminish as he finds learning to be less challenging.  It’s the start of 7th grade and his 8th year of school and we are just now getting to the place I wanted him to be from the beginning. Wouldn’t it have been nice for him not to have all these hardships from the beginning?  I wish we could have found The Morris Center earlier!

It bothers me that the NOW!  programs aren’t available everywhere and I’ve expressed this to Dr. Tim Conway multiple times.  Every time he just nods his head in agreement.  You see, he has tried for 30 years to get this into the education system with no success.  That must be so defeating.  Yet, he continues to pour into this program and his mission to help kids and adults who struggle with learning disabilities.  Through our conversations, I’ve learned about Dr. Conway’s own struggles with dyslexia.  He told me he was lucky to receive this program at the age of 4 so he didn’t have to struggle to learn.  WAIT A MINUTE!  Did he say 4?  How? And why didn’t we think of that???  (Had I known my kids were dyslexic at 4, I wouldn’t be writing this blog).

More discussions with Dr. Conway gave me more insight into his mission. Already, he’s offering the NOW! Programs online through e-tutoring.  This is just another way to offer help to more people across the world.  He’s in the process of helping launch a state-of-the-art clinic in Birmingham, Alabama at Alabama Game Changers.  This clinic will be able to provide services to more clients than TMC at once and will have a pre-k “classroom” to reach kids early, proactively.  Dr. Conway is proof that early intervention  works.  If the NOW! program was followed as part of the Pre-K curriculum, so many children could avoid the challenges of learning. If you go to the NOW! website you can read more about all of the programs.  Here’s what it says about the NOW! Foundations:

Students become conscious of the mouth actions that produce speech sounds. This awareness allows for the verification of sounds within words and enables individuals to become self-correcting in reading, spelling and speech.

Students use a multisensory and kinesthetic approach to sounds – not only do they discover how to produce sounds, but they are given several dimensions to express them. They will be able to make the sounds, describe how they made them, identify the sounds from a visual representation, and then organize sounds in a systematic way according to how the mouth produces them.

NOW! Foundations’ emphasis is not on conventional reading and spelling; students instead focus on feeling what the mouth is doing while making individual sounds. Students improve their phonological awareness and phonological processing skills by not only feeling the changes in the sounds of different words, but being able to generate them on their own.

My heart wants to burst when I think of the possibilities!   If schools implement this at the pre-k level, think of how many children will begin Kindergarten with the right foundations for learning. This program can be utilized by all students, not just those with learning disabilities.  Sure, some kids will still need interventions and additional services.  But there are quite a few that won’t. (Dyslexia has varying degrees of severity). These children won’t struggle to learn and will be better equipped to handle the normal challenges of school.  Their mental health would also benefit from this early intervention since so much of anxiety and depression can be linked to learning challenges. To me this is a win-win for all parties.   Schools want to see their students succeed. They want them to score well on standardized testing (don’t get me started on my opinions on testing).  They want to provide the best possible environment/curriculum for learning. Unfortunately, funding is a big deciding factor when it comes to this.  In the long-run, I would think the NOW! program would be well worth the investment for school districts.  Early detection and intervention has been proven to be ideal.  Identifying children early means better results.  Better results means less intervention over time, hence less money the education systems have to pay for interventional programs/services.  If the education systems want the very best for the future leaders of our country, they need to provide them with the best possible chance to learn at their full potential. My kids deserve it, your kids do too….. All kids deserve the very best.   The answer is here……..it’s time to take notice!

Self-Confidence is a SUPERPOWER!

On By Britani MartinIn The Journey, Uncategorized1 Comment

2We all want to feel confident.  Confident in who we are, what we believe, and in what we do.  For some people, confidence seems to be a part of their DNA.  I wish I was one of those people. I admit, I’m not the poster child for it.  In my teens, and in the hurricane that is middle school, I probably lost myself a few times and chose to be a wallflower. Insecurity seems like a rite of passage for us all at some point in our formative years and I was not immune to its wrath.

Probably because of my own struggles, I was determined to make sure my kids felt confident in themselves (Cue the self-help/parenting books….I’ve read them all).  I did it all: praising, affirming, supporting, encouraging,  trying new things, staying involved in their interests, nurturing their creativity, staying positive.  I was in for all of it!  And it worked….at first.  I can “confidently” say all three of my kids started Kindergarten with good self-esteem.  They didn’t doubt their abilities.  They felt confident in their abilities. ENTER DYSLEXIA.

I wish I could say they remained solid in who they were and believed the hype that they could be ANYTHING!  But they didn’t.  Even with all my effort, I couldn’t avoid the slow decline of their confidence.  With each child, I saw shifts in how they viewed themselves and it broke my heart.  Now, I know confidence and self-esteem are developed from more than just academics, but their learning difficulties played a major part in their regression.  With every new year and new academic challenge, I saw them begin to falter.  And I couldn’t do anything to stop it.  Here are some things I’ve experienced with my kids and my nephew in no particular order (and maybe some of you have had similar experiences with your own kids):

  • Refusing to read aloud (even at home).  Instead choosing to read silently to himself.
  • Recognizing in 1st grade that his friend never even studied and got 100% on spelling tests, while he had to study every night to pass the test, only to forget how to spell all the words by Monday.
  • In 2nd grade Cannon started interventions.  He was horrified about being pulled out of class (more so than most kids his age).  He just “knew” his friends thought he was dumb because they kept asking him where he was going (probably only happened a few times).  My solution: “tell them you’re going to spy class with no explanation.”  By the end of the year, all of his friends wanted to go to spy class too.  It worked!  But only for a year.
  • AR reading….enough said.  For a kid that struggles to read, it’s defeating to hear how  many points your friends have.
  • Million Word Club…see above
  • Using audiobooks while others read books only made them feel like they stand out even more in class. So they would refuse the audio option and read (suffer) in silence pretending to comprehend.
  • Academic Awards…..  It’s hard to see your friends with all their certificates and medals as you walk out empty-handed. (Side note:  I believe those kids should be celebrated, 100%! I have one of those kids too.  Just in a more sensitive way to those that aren’t receiving awards.  I’m forever thankful to the teachers who handed them out in a sealed envelope rather than individually…. and everyone got an envelope).
  •  Cannon describes himself, matter-of-factly…”I’m not one of the smart kids”
  • “I have to do this because I’m dumb.”
  • Avery dreaded library day because she had to get a book on her level and she couldn’t get the same color books her friends were getting. She started asking if she could go before school.
  • Cannon’s weekly papers went missing.  I would find them torn into pieces in the bottom of his backpack, often with the grade scribbled out.
  • Avery begged to watch Harry Potter out of the blue. After the movie, she said, “I wanted to watch so I can understand what my friends are talking about. They’ve already read 3 of the books so I only have two more movies to watch to catch up.”
  • If you ask Avery what she wants to be when she grows up, she’ll say an artist.  I love it!  But at The Morris Center, she’s made it clear that she doesn’t see herself going to college because she’s not smart enough. She was shocked to hear some artists actually attend COLLEGE!
  • If homework involves writing, Avery will ask me to spell every word rather than even trying to write because she doesn’t want to make a mistake.
  • In 3rd grade, my girl who has loved school since the first day of pre-school was suddenly crying and begging me not to take her, saying, “It’s too hard.  It’s too much.  I can’t do it.”
  • We left for Florida 2 weeks before school ended for the year.  Avery: “mom, you know the one thing I’m sad about the school year being over for me?  I never made it to the blue group.  You know, with all my friends.  That’s the smart group.  I was just in the middle group.” 
  • Brady was late to after-school tutoring every day.  Upon investigation, we learned he was hiding in the hallway to wait for his friends to leave the room so they didn’t know he was staying for tutoring.
  • In middle school it’s embarrassing for Cannon to have to take standardized tests in a “special room” so it can be read to him.  He asked to just stay in the classroom.

HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS…..  Since arriving at The Morris Center, confidence is growing!  Self-doubt is fading and growth is happening!  You couldn’t have a more affirming environment.  I’m not talking about over-the-top, cheesy praise.  This is given matter-of-factly.  They started by offering praise while telling them what they did correctly/good.  Now they are empowering them to praise themselves, by verbally acknowledging what they did good/correctly. They are teaching them to believe in themselves and to feel confident in their work.  The staff asks questions like, “are you sure that’s right?’  Not because it’s wrong.  They ask it to teach our kids to confidently stick with their answers. Their overall demeanors have changed from serious/hesitant/sad/frustrated to relaxed/silly/engaged/energetic. Other things:

Cannon….  Cannon is reading books ON HIS OWN, during his break time, and saying he LIKES them.  This is huge considering I’ve NEVER seen him read by his own free-will.

Avery…. we are hearing more positive self-talk from her.  She is enjoying reading.   We took a picture of her in front of the Fine Arts Building at the University of Florida and told her she may end up going to college there.  When her dad asked about it this week, she said, “but Dad, I’m a Razorback!”

Brady…. he can tell this is helping and reading is getting easier.  He’s proud of his progress.  He’s reading signs along the road for the first time ever and he’s reading the words on his video games.

Small things make a HUGE difference.  They all see how the small steps they’ve mastered are helping to make learning easier.  Things that were hard before are easier now.   They like observation days when they get to show us all the progress they are making.  They are PROUD of themselves.  Every day we see their confidence grow.  Hoping that continues and they all begin to see just how amazing and SMART they have always been.

Run Your Own Race

On By Britani MartinIn The Journey, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Screen Shot 2020-07-06 at 11.06.58 PM

I haven’t mentioned much about my nephew, Brady who is also here attending The Morris Center.  With his parent’s permission, I would like to introduce you to one of the bravest, most energetic, competitive kids in the world.  When you see this copper-headed, rough-and-tumble boy headed your way, you just want to grab him and wrap him up in a huge bear hug. But here’s the problem…..you won’t be able to catch him!  Brady has one speed.  FULL SPEED!  Since day one, he’s had a fearless approach to life.  He was climbing from his crib by 11 months of age.  He makes others around him gasp with his daredevil jumps and flips.  He cries when roller coasters are over because they were too short. One of my favorite stories about him was when he was 3.  Usually he stayed in the nursery on Sundays while his parents attended the worship service at church.  But this particular Sunday, he joined them.  Our church is a beautiful, old church with almost a gothic style, complete with cathedral ceilings adorned with  large wooden beams.  It almost takes your breath away to see.  Brady sat in his Mimi’s arms and studied his surroundings, looking up at the tall ceilings.  He leaned over to his Mimi’s ear and asked, “What is this place?  Is it a castle?”  His Mimi replies, “it’s our church sanctuary.”  He paused and looked around and then said confidently, “I wanna climb it.”  That’s our B.  Fearless from birth.  Adrenaline seeker.

Brady and my daughter, Avery, are two weeks apart (thank goodness he’s older since he likes to be ahead).  They’ve grown up more like brother and sister.  Where he’s bold and busy, she’s calm and content. They can be the best of friends and the worst of enemies.  They will be fighting one minute and laughing the next.  They both have tender hearts and compassion for others.  With natural athleticism, Brady stood out among his peers from the start.  He was the fastest, strongest, bravest.  We all believe he fits the mold of a Navy Seal.  He takes on life with an intense need to not just succeed, but to be the best!  This is the kid that started off with all blue ribbons at his Kindergarten track and field day. Eventually he got a red one for second place. While most of the others traded to have one of each color, Brady took his red ribbon and tore it in half!  He’s competitive to a fault.  A coach’s dream!

He entered school with confidence but quickly became frustrated and overwhelmed.  Sight words and spelling tests seemed impossible.  The days were too long.  The classroom was confining.  The schoolwork was hard. His parents spent countless hours in the evenings trying to help him memorize and understand only to feel defeated to learn he had not  retained any of it by the next week.  It was exhausting.  Thankfully, Brady’s mother was a school counselor who had taught special education for 12 years. She was trained in reading therapy and quickly recognized Brady’s deficits and knew he would need intervention.  She found him the best tutors and stayed on top of his academic needs.   Brady is a smart kid, but even with the extra help, his work was not reflecting his intelligence.  It was in the middle of first grade when he had outside testing that determined he was dyslexic (and possible processing deficiencies that couldn’t be determined at his age).  Second grade was  difficult to say the least.  He tried one reading program with no success.  School continued to be challenging and he began to lose confidence in himself.  He dreaded school every day.  He would hide in the hallways on his way to after-school tutoring to keep his friends from seeing him. He held it together while at school then had angry outbursts at home.  He was mad, frustrated and tired.  So were his parents.  Third grade was a much better year thanks to a wonderful teacher.  She made him want to go to school.  He made progress in her class with a different reading program but was nowhere near where he needed to be.

Enter present day.  Cannon, Brady & Avery are here at TMC.  It was identified through testing that Brady had inefficiencies in his language processing.  That automatically puts him behind the starting point for Avery.  The things she struggles with are different than  his struggles.  It just happened to be the first program that was his weakness. This program follows a very specific progression plan.  New skills are added as you master others.  We saw right away that Brady wasn’t moving as quickly as Avery.  My sister and I started to worry.  Naturally, kids want to compare notes on what they did each day, not to mention living in a tiny apartment together where their only playmates are each other. What would happen when Brady realized Avery was further along?  This was not good for our competitive child.  My sister and I started to panic, but Dr. Conway and the team at The Morris Center quickly eased our fears.  One of the major “rules” in place at TMC is no comparison!  The kids are not allowed to compare with each other.  They know everyone progresses differently and each have different areas that are more difficult.  No two kids are alike and this is not a competition.  After that first week, the talk about the details of their day went away.  They talked about breaks, lunch and fun OT activities but never compared sessions with each other. My sister and I breathed a sigh of relief.

No one wants to see their child struggle.  It’s heart-breaking really.  It always helps when you find others who understand your struggle because they are living the same one.  My sister and I, along with our husbands share in this dyslexia journey.  We support and encourage, vent and listen.  We came here together for one mission.  To change our kids’ lives.  We couldn’t anticipate the process because it’s impossible to describe without experiencing it. So we dove in head-first and soaked up all we could with every observation and meeting.  We teamed up and attended meetings together for all three.  My skepticism  lessoned as I saw the growth my children were making.  For my sister however, I would imagine it wasn’t as comforting.  While she was thrilled to see Cannon and Avery advance, it was probably also discouraging to see Brady progressing, but at a slower pace.  Doubt creeps in and makes you wonder if you’ve made a mistake.  You’ve invested financially and emotionally into this program and your expectations for progress are not being met.

These thoughts and concerns led to a conversation with Dr. Conway where we point-blank asked him if this program would help Brady.  Dr. Conway assertively answered with this: “we can help Brady.  It’s what we do.  He’s in the right place.”  Some of you might be thinking, “well of course he’s going to say that.  It’s his program and you are paying customers.”  I dare you to spend one hour with this man and tell me you think he’s bogus afterwards.  Dr. Conway is a Neuropsychologist who has committed the last 30 years to this program.  He has the science to back him up .  There are no other programs that I’m aware of that have scientific evidence that shows their program works.   Dr. Conway speaks with passion and you can see the fire in his eyes as he talks about helping children and adults with dyslexia.  His family is riddled with dyslexia.  His professional mission in life is to get this program into schools around the country and make the science of learning the standard for everyone.  It’s tragic when I think about how many people he could help if his voice could only be heard.

As Brady continues along, here’s the good news.  He is progressing every week. We are seeing growth.  His confidence is improving.  He’s receiving praise and affirmation from people who believe in him.  They are helping him believe in himself as well.  Sure, the language processing has made him start 100 yards behind the others but that’s okay.  This is not a race.  There is no time limit.  Everyone runs their own race.  We want them all to cross the finish line but we don’t care how long it takes.  What matters is that Brady is making progress, and every day he’s one day closer to changing his life for the better.  I applaud  Jamie and Davin for making this sacrifice for Brady and I hope they are able to block out comparison and celebrate Brady’s race.

 

Not So Sweet Dreams From Ocala

On By Britani MartinIn The Journey, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Today was a low-key, quiet day.  A day that was still and much needed. The first we’ve had in a few weeks.  There were no alarm clocks, no rushing, no to-do lists, no places to go.  Just a day spent in our tiny house, everyone in their own worlds.  There was lots of tv, iPads, reading, video games, FaceTiming with friends, cooking, napping, a little bike riding & artwork.  We are missing our people but we are adjusting to a new normal here in Ocala.  Tomorrow starts our last week of quarantine and essentially the last week of their summer break.

In our contentment at home, we lost track of time and realized too late it was way past bedtime.  11:00…..a peaceful evening quickly turned into a Brady v. Avery rumble in the living room.  What would have been easily handled and forgotten earlier in the day, turned into a hitting, screaming, crying fit. As they were forced to their respective rooms, they said the best parting words to one another:

(There was a mention of the recycling bin by Cannon…..)

Avery:  Brady needs to be put in the recycle bin!

Brady: SHUT UP!!!!

Oh parting is such sweet sorrow….

When they wake in the morning, all will be forgotten.  But tonight, they were ready to say goodbye forever.

Once in our room, I tried wiping away her tears but realized we had crossed the point of no return.  There were no hugs, words or snuggles that could soothe an over-tired, sensitive soul expressing her strong feelings about a ruined life at the hands of a red-headed boy.  Much to her dismay, there was no “chill time” in her bed with her iPad so she reluctantly snuggled in with her favorite stuffed animals.  She refused my offer to sleep in my bed, determined to remain stoic in her anger.  But a little arm slowly creeped to the edge of her bed and I knew exactly why.  I reached out and held that small hand and gently rubbed the top with my thumb.  She never acknowledged it but certainly didn’t pull away.  In the silence, I lay staring at her small face.  I saw sadness in her downcast eyes and pouty lip.  Eventually though, the sleepiness took over and she began to blink a little more frequently than before.  I wondered what was going through her mind.  Was she thinking about the last 10 minutes or something more?  Life has been a lot lately.  Her little safe and comfortable environment has been completely uprooted in the past 3 weeks.  What she thought was ahead of her & looked forward to for summer is no longer the same.  Was she thinking about her friends back home and missing them?  Was she wishing her Daddy was here to tuck her in?  Was she hoping to dream about running in the yard with our dogs, Sadie & Millie?  Is she fearful of the grueling schedule that is quickly approaching?  Or was she simply envisioning the blue of the ocean and feel of the sand between her toes?  She has a heavy load on her little shoulders.  Some would crumble under the pressure of so much, so fast.  But not my Avery.  She’s put her big girl panties on and walked bravely into the unknown.

And as I lay beside her from my own bed, holding her soft fingers in the palm of my hand, I am sent back in time to when I held her in my arms and rocked her to sleep.  It was one of my most treasured times with her as a baby. No distractions or noise.  Just a mama holding her little girl, watching her eyes blink closed, praying she would one day have the confidence to chase her dreams while knowing how much she is loved and cherished.  Tonight as her eyelids got heavier and the blinking slowed down, I watched them close softly for the last time until sunrise, and I listened to her breathing deepen as she drifted off to sleep.  Once she was finally sound asleep, I continued to  stare at her little face as tears ran down my cheeks.  This beautiful, smart, strong, kind and BRAVE girl is facing all life throws at her head-on.  When the storms of change surround her, she doesn’t turn away.  She pulls on her rubber boots and boldly walks directly into the rain. She also makes sure those walking with her keep up and don’t lose hope.  She may stumble and fall a few times, but there’s no doubt she will stand up and continue on her way, in search of the sunlight through the clouds.   If only I could have been this brave at just 9 years old.  She is my daughter and she is fierce!