“The Door is Open…Now Walk Through It!” -God

All my life, I’ve prayed to God about almost anything…..gratitude, fear, forgiveness, grief, understanding, guidance….the list goes on and on.  And like most people, I’ve prayed for things I want, big and small, materialistic and spiritual.  I’ve begged for him to make something happen or prevent certain circumstances.  All of these, and so many others have been answered, but not always clearly or even how I thought or hoped they would be.  But God’s plan is better.  His plan for my life is in place but he allows me to use my own discernment to follow the right path. Okay, but wait. Thanks for that, God, but could you be more specific? I mean, will you blatantly point to where I need to go?  I  trust your way but some more detailed directions would be helpful. Actually, if you could just walk in front of me and lead the way,  I will gladly tailgate and stay right behind you.  Okay, thanks!  That would be so much easier! Unfortunately, that’s not how it usually works…but every once in a while, God hangs up a billboard, opens a door and shoves me through it. Lately, that has been the case…..I just had to walk through it….with and without my family.

Having two kids with the “Lex” has opened my eyes to the academic and emotional struggle of doing life with it.  Most associate it with backwards letters and misspellings, but it’s so much more than that.  When you dig deeper, you see the affect dyslexia can have on school, sports, communication, self-confidence, and fear.  I mean let’s face it, if your brain had to work 5 times harder than the brain of your peers, wouldn’t you be a little frustrated and at times, defeated?  As a mama, I see their struggle and it breaks my heart!  I want to pick them up, doctor their hurt, slap on a bandaid and watch it heal.  Wouldn’t that be great?  But I can’t.  However, I can give them the next best thing.  A place full of hope for our family.  Is it a sacrifice?  Absolutely!  But is it worth it?  You bet!

The Morris Center in Ocala, Florida is an unknown gem in the world.  A place where science and dyslexia collide.  A brain scientist has dedicated his life to studying and researching dyslexia and the brain to its core.  He’s designed a transdisciplinary program that in essence “cures” it. When we first heard about it, it seemed too good to be true.  But the more we looked into it and saw the results of friends, the more we realized it was the best opportunity we had to give our kids for their future.  Here’s the catch….. it’s expensive, only accommodates 5 kids at a time & has a long waiting list, and would mean 4 months away from home, leaving behind Clint & Cole.  So we stalled out.  It was dangling out there but we just observed from afar.  One of those… “I wish we could but…” situations.  Usually things that seem unattainable stay just that.  Just out of reach.  We want them but don’t see how we could possibly have them, so we let them go and eventually they fade away from our minds.  But not this.  It has remained on my heart and in my mind for 9 months.  Why would something so unrealistic seem like a possibility? Why can’t I let it go?  Cannon and Avery.  That’s why.

When the Coronavirus brought the world to a screeching halt, all of our plans for the foreseeable future were canceled.  No baseball, no fishing, no play, no May frenzy.  Schools are out for the year and everything is shut down.  We are quarantined with little to do.  In this time of quiet, a brief thought crossed my mind.  “Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to go to The Morris Center right now?  It’s the perfect time since the kids won’t have to miss anything.”  I sent a long-shot email to the center to see if there was any chance they could accommodate our three (my nephew, Brady, has the Lex too).   I prayed, “God, this is the perfect time.  Can you make it happen?”  I got ahead of myself and started to feel like it was a real possibility, but was quickly disappointed when the response was no.  Not enough staff at this time.  Bummer.  Okay, whatever.  It was a nice thought but not meant to be.  But somehow, some way we needed to make this happen, and soon.  Cannon will be in 7th grade in August and needs to do this program before 8th grade if possible.  In our hearts, we knew we needed to commit to November.  Sure, it would mean missing hunting season, basketball, Thanksgiving and Christmas, but it is what it is.  We better get it together, put down our deposit to hold our spot and figure out how to pay for it for the next 6 months.  As we planned for November, I emailed one more time to make sure November was still available.  No response.  For days.  And then it came.

(April 7) Samantha:                                                                                                                            Hi Britani, 

   I am trying to work on a plan, one option might be May 11. If that is a possibility would May 11 work for you to start all 3 kids Eval and Treatment?
Huh?  What?  This May? Surely not?  What is happening????
And so began this  whirlwind of a month.  The door was open.  God had opened the door.  But how do we walk through it?  The Center required a 2 week quarantine before May 11th.  That means we would need to be there by April 27th.  20 days.  We have 20 days to find a place to live, secure furniture, electricity, water, internet.  Gather the necessities for living in an apartment. Pack up for 4 months and hit the road. Oh, and figure out how to pay for it all.  No biggie.
How is this even possible?  There’s no way.
But then I remembered…..this is what I had prayed for.  This is what I begged God to do.  Now it’s time to do our part….put one foot in front of the other and bravely walk through the open door.

Whatever God requires of you, He moves heaven and earth to get it done.

I would like to say, it’s been smooth sailing, but there have definitely been some ups and downs.  So much, so fast.  Strong emotions.  Sleepless nights.  Fear.  But one thing has remained.  Door after door has been opened for us.  God has smacked me in the face, told me to put on my big girl panties, and follow him.  No doubt he’s leading the way.  So I will be obedient and not take my eyes off of Him as He not only gives me directions, but also walks ahead of me.

God!  You heard my prayers and you answered.  Geez, are you a sprinter?  See I’m more of a distance runner.  But I guess it’s never too late to try something new.  The gun has fired to signal the start of the race and I stumbled trying to get out of the blocks.  After regaining my footing, I see you up there!  I want to just stop and watch you run but I need to finish the race. There’s no way I can be as fast as you but  I’ll do my best to keep up!

Thanks for the invitation to walk through the door.

Love, Britani


The Lex Kids