Month: July 2020

SCIENCE MATTERS WHEN IT COMES TO DYSLEXIA

On By Britani MartinIn The Journey4 Comments

science

I’ve had so many discussions about learning with parents of past, present and future clients of The Morris Center.  Parents from all over the world with one major thing in common……giving our children the best possible opportunity to reach their learning potential.  Individually we’ve studied and researched all we can to understand our children’s specific learning challenges and how to help them.  Individually we’ve invested and immersed our children into programs that didn’t meet our expectations.  These disappointments have left us feeling helpless and our children discouraged.  But with each failure, we refused to give up.  In our search for an answer, each on our own, found The Morris Center.  While there’s been trepidation and uncertainty, we’ve all come to the same conclusion.  The Morris Center is legit!

When I first heard about The Morris Center, I thought, “Cool, another intervention, claiming to be the answer.”  I just added it to my long list of programs to look into down the line.  When I finally took the time to look it up however, I thought, “man, this place is bold! They are making some really big claims about what they are able to do.”  The TMC website states, “on average, our clients with dyslexia jump one or more grade levels in reading in one month of treatment.”  I’m sorry, what??!!  One month? We are on year three of a program and haven’t seen that kind of growth.  That can’t be right.  So, I dug deeper. Who is this Dr. Tim Conway?  Like all good investigators, I googled him.  He’s a neuropsychologist (yeah, I had to google that word too just to make sure I knew what it was).   I found his TedxTalk,  “Mixing Oil and Water so Nearly Everyone Learns to Read.”  After watching the video I was intrigued.   In my search for information I found a lot of testimonials about how great TMC is and how it had “changed their child’s life.”  Okay, but who are they?  Are they actors?  Paid spokespersons?  I was hearing the good, but I wanted to find the bad reviews.  I was looking for someone to prove it was too good to be true.  Alas, my search came up empty.  There simply weren’t people talking about how bad this program was.  When I googled other reading programs however, I found a multitude of reviews, both good and bad.  So what’s the difference?  While browsing the TMC  website again, this got my attention:

“TMC changed his life” is a common response we receive after our teams’ treatment. One of the most misunderstood aspects of helping children and adults improve their functional skills is the difference between making weak skills stronger versus learning compensatory “strategies” to cope with weak skills. TMC’s known for using research-based methods, the proper intensity and frequency of treatment and a foundational approach to make weaker skills become stronger – improving functional abilities & leading to long-term improvements.

Dr. Tim Conway, Research Neuropsychologist and Director

Research-based methods…  Isn’t every program “research-based?”  Sure, lots claim to be.  But where can I find this research? And what is the average growth for clients receiving treatment?  I looked but either didn’t find this information on their websites or the information was vague.  When I checked The Morris Center website however, there was a tab just for RESEARCH.  Go ahead and see for yourself. You can read all about it.  I did and immediately noticed something different from other explanations of programs……the terminology. It didn’t sound “educational.”  It sounded “medical.” (neural networks, neural plasticity, functional neuroimaging, left hemisphere, normalization of the activation).   Essentially, the approach is less about helping my kids learn to “cope” with their learning disabilities, and more about rewiring their weak skills to be stronger.  Hmmm…. okay, prove it.  I want to see the proof.  With one click, I was able to see the results of 25 years worth of research TMC has to back up their claims.  Real results. Sustained results.  And a new way of looking at dyslexia for me.  I’ve been told (not by my School district or the educators at my school – they have done an exceptional job with the interventions that have been available to them) my child was born with this and their brain is just wired differently.  I’ve learned that’s not true. Brains are wired the same, but some have inefficiencies (weakness).  I’ve been told my kids will always have to work harder than their peers.  Not true. The Morris Center can “strengthen the processes and develop the skills that are weak. As weak skills become stronger, then learning becomes more efficient and the child or adult feels more competent and confident. TMC helps them unlock their hidden, true potential. Self-esteem comes from success.”  Okay.  Even though it sounds too good to be true, I can’t ignore the opportunity in front of us.  If I can make something easier for my kids, I’ll do it!  So we did. Good move.  TMC is definitely delivering on their bold claims!   It’s been a relief to see dyslexia differently and to actually watch my kids grasp things they couldn’t before.  I see less frustration in their faces and more confidence in their eyes.  I see them recognizing how this is helping and starting to dream bigger dreams. Isn’t that what we all want.  So now more than ever, I’m convinced…..SCIENCE MATTERS!

Self-Confidence is a SUPERPOWER!

On By Britani MartinIn The Journey, Uncategorized1 Comment

2We all want to feel confident.  Confident in who we are, what we believe, and in what we do.  For some people, confidence seems to be a part of their DNA.  I wish I was one of those people. I admit, I’m not the poster child for it.  In my teens, and in the hurricane that is middle school, I probably lost myself a few times and chose to be a wallflower. Insecurity seems like a rite of passage for us all at some point in our formative years and I was not immune to its wrath.

Probably because of my own struggles, I was determined to make sure my kids felt confident in themselves (Cue the self-help/parenting books….I’ve read them all).  I did it all: praising, affirming, supporting, encouraging,  trying new things, staying involved in their interests, nurturing their creativity, staying positive.  I was in for all of it!  And it worked….at first.  I can “confidently” say all three of my kids started Kindergarten with good self-esteem.  They didn’t doubt their abilities.  They felt confident in their abilities. ENTER DYSLEXIA.

I wish I could say they remained solid in who they were and believed the hype that they could be ANYTHING!  But they didn’t.  Even with all my effort, I couldn’t avoid the slow decline of their confidence.  With each child, I saw shifts in how they viewed themselves and it broke my heart.  Now, I know confidence and self-esteem are developed from more than just academics, but their learning difficulties played a major part in their regression.  With every new year and new academic challenge, I saw them begin to falter.  And I couldn’t do anything to stop it.  Here are some things I’ve experienced with my kids and my nephew in no particular order (and maybe some of you have had similar experiences with your own kids):

  • Refusing to read aloud (even at home).  Instead choosing to read silently to himself.
  • Recognizing in 1st grade that his friend never even studied and got 100% on spelling tests, while he had to study every night to pass the test, only to forget how to spell all the words by Monday.
  • In 2nd grade Cannon started interventions.  He was horrified about being pulled out of class (more so than most kids his age).  He just “knew” his friends thought he was dumb because they kept asking him where he was going (probably only happened a few times).  My solution: “tell them you’re going to spy class with no explanation.”  By the end of the year, all of his friends wanted to go to spy class too.  It worked!  But only for a year.
  • AR reading….enough said.  For a kid that struggles to read, it’s defeating to hear how  many points your friends have.
  • Million Word Club…see above
  • Using audiobooks while others read books only made them feel like they stand out even more in class. So they would refuse the audio option and read (suffer) in silence pretending to comprehend.
  • Academic Awards…..  It’s hard to see your friends with all their certificates and medals as you walk out empty-handed. (Side note:  I believe those kids should be celebrated, 100%! I have one of those kids too.  Just in a more sensitive way to those that aren’t receiving awards.  I’m forever thankful to the teachers who handed them out in a sealed envelope rather than individually…. and everyone got an envelope).
  •  Cannon describes himself, matter-of-factly…”I’m not one of the smart kids”
  • “I have to do this because I’m dumb.”
  • Avery dreaded library day because she had to get a book on her level and she couldn’t get the same color books her friends were getting. She started asking if she could go before school.
  • Cannon’s weekly papers went missing.  I would find them torn into pieces in the bottom of his backpack, often with the grade scribbled out.
  • Avery begged to watch Harry Potter out of the blue. After the movie, she said, “I wanted to watch so I can understand what my friends are talking about. They’ve already read 3 of the books so I only have two more movies to watch to catch up.”
  • If you ask Avery what she wants to be when she grows up, she’ll say an artist.  I love it!  But at The Morris Center, she’s made it clear that she doesn’t see herself going to college because she’s not smart enough. She was shocked to hear some artists actually attend COLLEGE!
  • If homework involves writing, Avery will ask me to spell every word rather than even trying to write because she doesn’t want to make a mistake.
  • In 3rd grade, my girl who has loved school since the first day of pre-school was suddenly crying and begging me not to take her, saying, “It’s too hard.  It’s too much.  I can’t do it.”
  • We left for Florida 2 weeks before school ended for the year.  Avery: “mom, you know the one thing I’m sad about the school year being over for me?  I never made it to the blue group.  You know, with all my friends.  That’s the smart group.  I was just in the middle group.” 
  • Brady was late to after-school tutoring every day.  Upon investigation, we learned he was hiding in the hallway to wait for his friends to leave the room so they didn’t know he was staying for tutoring.
  • In middle school it’s embarrassing for Cannon to have to take standardized tests in a “special room” so it can be read to him.  He asked to just stay in the classroom.

HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS…..  Since arriving at The Morris Center, confidence is growing!  Self-doubt is fading and growth is happening!  You couldn’t have a more affirming environment.  I’m not talking about over-the-top, cheesy praise.  This is given matter-of-factly.  They started by offering praise while telling them what they did correctly/good.  Now they are empowering them to praise themselves, by verbally acknowledging what they did good/correctly. They are teaching them to believe in themselves and to feel confident in their work.  The staff asks questions like, “are you sure that’s right?’  Not because it’s wrong.  They ask it to teach our kids to confidently stick with their answers. Their overall demeanors have changed from serious/hesitant/sad/frustrated to relaxed/silly/engaged/energetic. Other things:

Cannon….  Cannon is reading books ON HIS OWN, during his break time, and saying he LIKES them.  This is huge considering I’ve NEVER seen him read by his own free-will.

Avery…. we are hearing more positive self-talk from her.  She is enjoying reading.   We took a picture of her in front of the Fine Arts Building at the University of Florida and told her she may end up going to college there.  When her dad asked about it this week, she said, “but Dad, I’m a Razorback!”

Brady…. he can tell this is helping and reading is getting easier.  He’s proud of his progress.  He’s reading signs along the road for the first time ever and he’s reading the words on his video games.

Small things make a HUGE difference.  They all see how the small steps they’ve mastered are helping to make learning easier.  Things that were hard before are easier now.   They like observation days when they get to show us all the progress they are making.  They are PROUD of themselves.  Every day we see their confidence grow.  Hoping that continues and they all begin to see just how amazing and SMART they have always been.

What Exactly is The Morris Center?

On By Britani MartinIn Uncategorized5 Comments

from the outside looking in, it's hard to understand.

This is the question I get the most and the one I struggle to answer every time.  My answers always seem either too simplified or too confusing.  The simplified version can make people think it’s just another program out there, not much different than some of the others.  The confusing, more detailed answer uses a lot of big words about the trans-disciplinary approaches that most would think don’t have anything to do with reading.  It’s truly one of those things that’s impossible to put into words…..you just need to experience it to get it.

I could leave it there and not worry about if others understand and see why this program is completely different.  I could easily have the this mentality: “my kids are my only priority.  Other kids may be missing out but at least my kids are getting the best, right?”  But I’m wired to want to help others.  If you know anything about the  Enneagram, I’m a solid 2. I find joy in serving and helping others.  My husband has even teased me saying, “all the things you do for others are things you could be charging for, but instead you work for free.” He’s probably right, but it’s part of who I am and it brings me joy to help.  So when I see my kids receiving interventions that are changing the course of their life, I can’t help but think of all the kids out there that aren’t receiving the same.  It’s tragic to see a program with such unprecedented results being so underutilized.  But what’s different about it compared to the other programs???  Here’s my attempt at explaining what I see:

THE PROGRAMS:

NOW! Foundations of Speech, Language, Reading & Spelling                                                                                            NOW! Foundations of Speech, Language, Reading and Spelling®                                       NOW! Mental Imagery for Language, Comprehension, Memory and Reasoning® NOW! Grammar and Writing®                                                                                                                                      NOW! Math Concept Imagery®

  1. THESE PEOPLE GET MY KID:  Dyslexia is so much more than just a learning deficiency.  It’s affected my kid’s confidence & self-esteem. It’s caused anxiety, worry, stress, embarrassment, frustration and anger. They hate having to do “extra” work.  They feel defeated when they watch their peers growing and succeeding while they are struggling to keep up and falling further behind.  It carries over to home, sports and activities.  They feel like nobody understands what it’s like to be them.  But within a few weeks of being at The Morris Center, they all seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.  Why?  Because for the first time, there were people around them explaining the “why” behind it all.  These people are familiar with what these kids are experiencing and they know how to handle it.  They assure them that they can help.  They give them hope.
  2. INTENSITY & CONSISTENCY: Every day our kids know exactly what to expect when they walk through the door.  They check their daily schedule and get to work.  Their days consist of 6 one-one-on sessions, two of which are occupational therapy.  Each session is 50 minutes of instruction.  The kids are getting the maximum instruction at each session.  In a classroom setting, there is always some downtime.  Kids can get distracted when the teacher is working with another student or small group.  Kids can zone out or daydream during a lesson.  At TMC, that’s not possible.  My kids are getting the most out of every minute! This is 6 hours a day, 5 days a week.  With that level of frequency, the process of rewiring the brain is expedited.
  3. A TEAM APPROACH:  After each session, notes are entered into their software program.  These notes show the next instructor exactly where my child left off, what he/she has mastered or needs to continue practicing, along with how their focus level, demeanor and behavior seem to be.  They also converse regular between sessions about specific concerns or observations.  Each hour of my child’s day is documented and the entire team has access to it at any time.  Basically, they are all on the same page, all the time!
  4. PSYCHIATRY:  If your kid has been on or needs medication, TMC works closely to monitor and manage your child’s response to specific medications.  My nephew is ADHD and has been able to begin a new medicine regimen with daily feedback from the staff on their observations on how he is responding to the medicinal therapy.
  5. PSYCHOLOGY:  In my opinion, everyone needs a therapist!  It’s so good to have an unbiased person to listen to and advise you.  For kids, this is especially helpful as they deal with a wide array of emotions.  At The Morris Center, there is an on-site psychologist that meets with each child weekly.  His main purpose is to monitor each child’s well-being while at TMC.  Basically, he’s a life coach.  He offers the kids a safe outlet for expressing their feelings honestly, then works to teach them coping skills that empower them to self-regulate.  The psychologist also provides complementary strategies and methods to the staff to help them best relate to each child and handle circumstances/behaviors appropriately.  Every kid is different and responds to situations uniquely. It’s comforting to know that there’s someone there trained to assess my children’s emotional well-being and teach them how to cope on their own.
  6. PARENTS INCLUDED: This isn’t a drop-off and pick-up at the door environment. Parents play an integral part in the process.  Every morning, we escort our kids inside where we are greeted by staff.  Quick conversations about our kids overall demeanor/behavior/eating while home are welcomed.  If my kid couldn’t sleep/eat, they want to know.  This helps the team prepare for the day.  Each week, we get the opportunity to observe our kids in session.  This gives us a better understanding of how the program is being taught and we can see first-hand the progress our child is making.  It’s encouraging for us to see that our investment is working!  In addition to observations, we have weekly progress meetings with the psychologist, occupational therapist and Dr. Conway.  We get a DETAILED break-down of the week’s progress, complete with pros/cons/plan of action for the next week.  At any time, they can access every word, sound, skill my child has mastered. They track EVERYTHING!  It’s really pretty incredible to see how much detail is documented for each day.

This is in no way a comprehensive explanation of what The Morris Center is, but it’s certainly enough to show why this place is different.  I dare you to find a program as detailed, strategically executed and scientifically supported as The Morris Center.  The experience we’ve had has far exceeded our expectations and it’s not over yet.

Wait a Minute! The Education System is Missing the Boat!

On By Britani MartinIn The JourneyLeave a comment

1I’ve spent a lot of time over the last week thinking about The Morris Center and the impact it has had on so many.  So many, yet not nearly enough.  It’s tragic when you think about it really.  Dyslexia affects 1 in 5 people.  Older generations of people may not even be aware that they have it.  They’ve probably always just thought, “school was hard for me.” Thankfully, with time and with science, we have a better understanding of how the brain works and how to recognize inefficiencies, then provide intervention for those learning challenges.  For dyslexia, there are countless intervention programs available.  State education departments and school districts are inundated with different programs claiming to be the best way to help kids with learning disabilities.  So how do they decide on one?  How do they choose one program over another?  I know that education is always evolving and new teaching strategies are important.  But, which one truly is the best?

When my kids were first diagnosed, I was overwhelmed. I didn’t have an education background so I was clueless about what my next step needed to be.  I was at the mercy of our school district (which I  love and must say is one of the very best in the state).  They went above and beyond to provide services and the latest programs for our children.  They did the very best they could with the resources they had available.  I won’t lie and say these programs haven’t helped my kids. They have.  But, there was still something missing.  What was it?  My kids were learning strategies and memorizing rules left and right.  But were they able to retain and apply what they were learning?   Was it making school easier for them?  And once done with the program, are they done for good or is this just going to be an on-going thing?  Will they start a new one when they are finished with this one?  And why are some kids doing one program and others doing another?  How do I know my children are in the best program for them?  Sooo many questions and it all left me a bit unsettled.  My focus started to shift from hoping this was helping school not be such a struggle to making sure their 504s listed every possible accommodation they may someday need.  I was resigned to the fact that they would always struggle and they would always have to work harder than the majority of their peers.  Life just isn’t fair sometimes.

My sister taught special education for 12 years and actually completed 2 years of an Orton-Gillingham program.  It was multi-sensory and supposed to be fantastic.  I never thought much about such programs until after it was a reality for my own children.  Now you have my attention…. With a family FULL of educators I’ve learned that the education system seems to have cycles.  Teaching methods, learning approaches, tools, techniques…….they have all evolved through the years.  We hear things like this:  They say the best way to teach phonics now is…. the best way to approach language is…. kids learn spelling most effectively through…..etc, etc.  Take math for example.  The way math was taught when I was a kid is certainly NOT how it’s taught today (just ask my kids!  They pretty much excused me from helping them with their homework. Thanks, but no thanks).  Some of the new methods are just that….new.  Others however, seem to have cycled back into use.  It’s all a bit confusing for this mom.  I mean, who are “they?” Who decides this?  Specifically with reading programs, who came up with the program?  How can they claim their method works best?  Isn’t that an opinion?  Is there scientific data that shows their specific program is in fact, the best?  And if so, why are there still so many options?  And the BIG question….will these programs help my kids reach their full potential?  So many questions.  The more I tried to understand our options, the more uncertain I became about the programs my children were immersed in.  It felt like the lottery.  It may or may not work.  Needless to say, my mama heart was not feeling very reassured.

And then I heard about The Morris Center.  I listened to my friends talk about the program and checked out the website.  My initial reaction? Too good to be true.  No way.  But then I read an article written by Dr. Tim Conway that made me second-guess all I thought I knew about dyslexia intervention.  The article had my attention when I read this:

“THIS is the SUPERPOWER of Dyslexia, as it is the SUPERPOWER of the human brain for all learning.

IF schools are required to use ONLY well-researched, highly-effective and scientifically proven methods instead of lining the pockets of publishers,

  • NOTE: publishers of curriculum have made hundred of millions of dollars in profit from selling our schools the same methods of instruction for reading that have the same ineffective, unproven, poorly researched and limited effectiveness, but a new packaging and new labels/vocabularly, for more than the past 20 years,

then from these new, well-researched, and scientifically proven new experiences we can expect NEW outcomes. Presently, the US educational system has shown little to NO improvement in the success of teaching reading, despite decades of discoveries in science about how the brain typically learns to read, what are the most likely causal factors for leading to dyslexia/poor reading skills (poor phonological awareness), and how some methods are highly-effective at preventing reading difficulties with evidence-based early intervention at age FIVE years old – YES, in Kindergarten we can already work to prevent the emergence of poor reading skills.”                                                               Read full article here: “What is Dyslexias Real Superpower”

Could the education system really be missing the boat?  Stay tuned for my next post that explains what The Morris Center actually is and why I think it’s really “THE BEST” program for dyslexia…..

Run Your Own Race

On By Britani MartinIn The Journey, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Screen Shot 2020-07-06 at 11.06.58 PM

I haven’t mentioned much about my nephew, Brady who is also here attending The Morris Center.  With his parent’s permission, I would like to introduce you to one of the bravest, most energetic, competitive kids in the world.  When you see this copper-headed, rough-and-tumble boy headed your way, you just want to grab him and wrap him up in a huge bear hug. But here’s the problem…..you won’t be able to catch him!  Brady has one speed.  FULL SPEED!  Since day one, he’s had a fearless approach to life.  He was climbing from his crib by 11 months of age.  He makes others around him gasp with his daredevil jumps and flips.  He cries when roller coasters are over because they were too short. One of my favorite stories about him was when he was 3.  Usually he stayed in the nursery on Sundays while his parents attended the worship service at church.  But this particular Sunday, he joined them.  Our church is a beautiful, old church with almost a gothic style, complete with cathedral ceilings adorned with  large wooden beams.  It almost takes your breath away to see.  Brady sat in his Mimi’s arms and studied his surroundings, looking up at the tall ceilings.  He leaned over to his Mimi’s ear and asked, “What is this place?  Is it a castle?”  His Mimi replies, “it’s our church sanctuary.”  He paused and looked around and then said confidently, “I wanna climb it.”  That’s our B.  Fearless from birth.  Adrenaline seeker.

Brady and my daughter, Avery, are two weeks apart (thank goodness he’s older since he likes to be ahead).  They’ve grown up more like brother and sister.  Where he’s bold and busy, she’s calm and content. They can be the best of friends and the worst of enemies.  They will be fighting one minute and laughing the next.  They both have tender hearts and compassion for others.  With natural athleticism, Brady stood out among his peers from the start.  He was the fastest, strongest, bravest.  We all believe he fits the mold of a Navy Seal.  He takes on life with an intense need to not just succeed, but to be the best!  This is the kid that started off with all blue ribbons at his Kindergarten track and field day. Eventually he got a red one for second place. While most of the others traded to have one of each color, Brady took his red ribbon and tore it in half!  He’s competitive to a fault.  A coach’s dream!

He entered school with confidence but quickly became frustrated and overwhelmed.  Sight words and spelling tests seemed impossible.  The days were too long.  The classroom was confining.  The schoolwork was hard. His parents spent countless hours in the evenings trying to help him memorize and understand only to feel defeated to learn he had not  retained any of it by the next week.  It was exhausting.  Thankfully, Brady’s mother was a school counselor who had taught special education for 12 years. She was trained in reading therapy and quickly recognized Brady’s deficits and knew he would need intervention.  She found him the best tutors and stayed on top of his academic needs.   Brady is a smart kid, but even with the extra help, his work was not reflecting his intelligence.  It was in the middle of first grade when he had outside testing that determined he was dyslexic (and possible processing deficiencies that couldn’t be determined at his age).  Second grade was  difficult to say the least.  He tried one reading program with no success.  School continued to be challenging and he began to lose confidence in himself.  He dreaded school every day.  He would hide in the hallways on his way to after-school tutoring to keep his friends from seeing him. He held it together while at school then had angry outbursts at home.  He was mad, frustrated and tired.  So were his parents.  Third grade was a much better year thanks to a wonderful teacher.  She made him want to go to school.  He made progress in her class with a different reading program but was nowhere near where he needed to be.

Enter present day.  Cannon, Brady & Avery are here at TMC.  It was identified through testing that Brady had inefficiencies in his language processing.  That automatically puts him behind the starting point for Avery.  The things she struggles with are different than  his struggles.  It just happened to be the first program that was his weakness. This program follows a very specific progression plan.  New skills are added as you master others.  We saw right away that Brady wasn’t moving as quickly as Avery.  My sister and I started to worry.  Naturally, kids want to compare notes on what they did each day, not to mention living in a tiny apartment together where their only playmates are each other. What would happen when Brady realized Avery was further along?  This was not good for our competitive child.  My sister and I started to panic, but Dr. Conway and the team at The Morris Center quickly eased our fears.  One of the major “rules” in place at TMC is no comparison!  The kids are not allowed to compare with each other.  They know everyone progresses differently and each have different areas that are more difficult.  No two kids are alike and this is not a competition.  After that first week, the talk about the details of their day went away.  They talked about breaks, lunch and fun OT activities but never compared sessions with each other. My sister and I breathed a sigh of relief.

No one wants to see their child struggle.  It’s heart-breaking really.  It always helps when you find others who understand your struggle because they are living the same one.  My sister and I, along with our husbands share in this dyslexia journey.  We support and encourage, vent and listen.  We came here together for one mission.  To change our kids’ lives.  We couldn’t anticipate the process because it’s impossible to describe without experiencing it. So we dove in head-first and soaked up all we could with every observation and meeting.  We teamed up and attended meetings together for all three.  My skepticism  lessoned as I saw the growth my children were making.  For my sister however, I would imagine it wasn’t as comforting.  While she was thrilled to see Cannon and Avery advance, it was probably also discouraging to see Brady progressing, but at a slower pace.  Doubt creeps in and makes you wonder if you’ve made a mistake.  You’ve invested financially and emotionally into this program and your expectations for progress are not being met.

These thoughts and concerns led to a conversation with Dr. Conway where we point-blank asked him if this program would help Brady.  Dr. Conway assertively answered with this: “we can help Brady.  It’s what we do.  He’s in the right place.”  Some of you might be thinking, “well of course he’s going to say that.  It’s his program and you are paying customers.”  I dare you to spend one hour with this man and tell me you think he’s bogus afterwards.  Dr. Conway is a Neuropsychologist who has committed the last 30 years to this program.  He has the science to back him up .  There are no other programs that I’m aware of that have scientific evidence that shows their program works.   Dr. Conway speaks with passion and you can see the fire in his eyes as he talks about helping children and adults with dyslexia.  His family is riddled with dyslexia.  His professional mission in life is to get this program into schools around the country and make the science of learning the standard for everyone.  It’s tragic when I think about how many people he could help if his voice could only be heard.

As Brady continues along, here’s the good news.  He is progressing every week. We are seeing growth.  His confidence is improving.  He’s receiving praise and affirmation from people who believe in him.  They are helping him believe in himself as well.  Sure, the language processing has made him start 100 yards behind the others but that’s okay.  This is not a race.  There is no time limit.  Everyone runs their own race.  We want them all to cross the finish line but we don’t care how long it takes.  What matters is that Brady is making progress, and every day he’s one day closer to changing his life for the better.  I applaud  Jamie and Davin for making this sacrifice for Brady and I hope they are able to block out comparison and celebrate Brady’s race.

 

Get Out of Your Own Way!

On By Britani MartinIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Screen Shot 2020-07-06 at 8.08.40 PM

This post if for parents of older kids with dyslexia.  This is my experience with having a very intelligent pre-teen with dyslexia that needs the program at The Morris Center,  but thinks “he’s fine” without it.

If you’ve had a teenager or pre-teen, you are probably familiar with “the change.”  You know…when one day you look up and don’t recognize the stranger in your home.  Your once gentle, considerate, obedient child has left the building.  In his place, is this grumbling, mouthy, self-absorbed “man-child” that has made it his life’s mission to show you just how wrong, mean and clueless you are about kids today and life in general.   With my oldest son, I was blind-sided and ready to put up missing person flyers.  I wanted to return the multitude of parenting books I had purchased and highlighted…. and ask for my money back.  They obviously weren’t working.  I didn’t know what to do with this new, extremely loud, and at times cruel teenage boy who thought the world revolved around him.  This was his life and we were just living in it.  Nobody told me the kid who once hugged me tightly and wouldn’t leave my side would begin to avoid conversation with me and roll his eyes when I demanded “forced family fun.”  This new person was difficult to be around and, my mama feelings were hurt.  But a mama with grown children gave me the encouragement (and laugh) I needed.  She said, “oh yeah.  Welcome to the teen years. Been there.  Its like you look at him and think an alien has taken over his body.  You will live with this new, exasperating version of your child for a few years.  Then around 15-16, he will come back.  He’ll be back.  You just have to hang on.”  That boy is now 15 and I have to say she was right.  He’s starting to return to himself and he’s maturing into the young man I prayed he would be.

So for child two, I felt like a veteran parent. I “diagnosed” his condition at the first sign.  “The change” had begun.  I padded up, put on my toughest skin and started walking directly into the storm of adolescence.  But unfortunately, just as no two kids are the same, no two “changes” are the same either. There’s a lot going on physically, intellectually and emotionally at this age already.  The changes happening in his brain hinder a lot of logical thinking, and when he’s asked to explain why he did or didn’t do something, his answer of “I don’t know,” may actually be valid (yep, I read that in one of those parenting books). So by nature, all of this is already going on.  Add in a complete uprooting of his normal life and you find yourself in Ocala, Florida basically saying this: “instead of that fun summer at home you were looking forward to,  you’re going to complete an intensive dyslexia program that involves 6 hours of learning, 5 days a week.  You’re welcome.”

I love finding quotes that relate to my life or the lives of those around me.  My current choice for Cannon…..“A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can’t go anywhere until you change it.”
Truth.  He started at The Morris Center with a bad attitude…..mad about missing home, being here with little kids and doing a pointless program that he “doesn’t need.”  (Adding to his frustration was the fact that two weeks prior, he completed his last lesson of a dyslexia program he’s been doing at school for the past 3 years.  He hated the program but remained diligent.  He believed that once he finished that program, he would be done for good.  We however, knew that wouldn’t be the case and his future education would require more intervention).  He started at TMC with two 9 year-olds and an 8 year-old (a 15 year-old started a few weeks later). This wasn’t helping us sell the fact that this program is for ANYONE.  The program begins at a developmental level.  I’m talking mouth movements and sounds.  Simple, but necessary, and the starting place for everyone, regardless of age.  He didn’t shy away from telling us just how dumb it was that he had to do this “baby stuff” with little kids.  The first few weeks were much the same.  We tried explaining the  program’s progression to him but he was in no place to hear it.  However, we felt certain he would soon “buy-in” and realize how this was helping him.  I wish that was the case, but his adolescent self was determined to be miserable and committed  to making sure everyone around him knew it.  The funny thing is that he KNOWS this is helping him and has acknowledged this fact.  Yet he REFUSED to let go of this negativity. He gets his stubbornness honest.

We are now starting our 9th week (7th full week without testing).  It’s not been smooth-sailing.  He still holds onto resentment and anger about being here at times, but there have certainly been some good weeks mixed in.  On the bad days, he’s pushed the boundaries to their limit. One week ago, he crossed over from disgruntled to disrespectful.  His demeanor and negativity was affecting his speed of progress.  He was only making the program longer for himself.  He was essentially wasting valuable time. This was the last straw for us.  It’s one thing for us to see his attitude, but when the staff are acknowledging it, we have a problem. Let’s just say we had a “come to Jesus” talk with him about his attitude and refusal to just accept his circumstances and make the most of it. If he wants to be miserable, we can show him just how miserable it can be (i.e. no technology, no fun weekends, no bike trails).  This certainly got his attention.

Our “chat” was a tough but necessary one.  The part that resonated most was when I told him this: “these people are experts in their field. They have committed 4 months to helping you achieve your potential.  They love their careers.  When you come in here with a bad attitude, telling them this is dumb, pointless, etc…. you are insulting them.  That’s not you and that’s not okay.”  That was a turning point.  He woke up the next morning a completely different kid.  He had found some logic and reason.  He’s shown up everyday since ready to work and with a positive mindset.  The staff have noticed and affirmed his behavior.  We are all breathing a sigh of relief.  They are finally getting to see the “real Cannon.” And we all know that his new attitude will allow him to get the most out of this program in the fastest way possible.

At this point I feel a tremendous amount of gratitude to the staff.  Each of them have played an integral part in this journey.  They’ve shown patience and understanding.  They’ve offered more grace than deserved.  They’ve treated Cannon with respect and professionalism through his defiance.  The psychologist increased the number of sessions with Cannon to offer more support and coping strategies.  Dr. Conway has had one-on-one “brain talks” with Cannon to explain the science behind all of this. One of the coolest parts of this whole journey has been seeing how the staff works as one unit.  They meet together every week to discuss each child in detail and they keep in touch throughout the week to stay informed.  They make weekly plans for each child and share strategies that work most effectively for that child’s attention, learning style, and  emotional state.  This allows the kids to hear a consistent message no matter who they are working with or what type of session they are in.  They meet with the parents weekly and schedule weekly observations of each discipline.  If we have concerns, they are quickly addressed.  When they say they take a trans-disciplinary approach to this program, they are telling the truth!  I’ve never seen anything like this and feel so humbled that my kids are able to experience such a customized learning environment.

So if you’ve considered bringing your teenager to The Morris Center but hesitate to do so out of fear of his “attitude” or perception…… just do it.  I can’t say it will be easy, but it will certainly be worth it!

As for Cannon…. at the end of this, he may not understand completely or even appreciate just how much this program will change his life.  But I have no doubt he will figure it out when he resumes school and as he progresses through high school and college.  He will recognize just what Dr. Conway has been telling him:  “This is going to help you work less and learn more.”  And once his brain is completely developed (not until age 24) and he’s starting his career, he will realize just how life-altering The Morris Center was for him.  And maybe, just maybe…..he might actually thank us for taking his summer away.